Archive for October, 2012
My dear friends, I must thank you so much for your comments on my last entry. I realize that I must thank you so often that it seems insincere, but your kindness and concern has meant so much to me throughout this strange and difficult time.
I took your advice, and went to visit Romeo at the hospital. He seemed to be doing fine and also appeared very glad to see me. We talked for a long while, mostly about this strange world and all of the nuances we had learned about. It was shockingly pleasant, actually.
Still, imagine how surprised I was this evening to turn to my computer and see that Romeo had unblocked me and left an apology on his blog! Finally, he is once more beginning to act like the Romeo I know and love–sorry, loved, I suppose. He still claims his love for this…Vanessa, which I suppose I cannot blame him for. I, too, know how love can crush a person in her steely grip, and refuse to let go. I, too, know what it is like to love so deeply that without them, you cannot feel whole. I, too, know.
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My dear readers, I feel as though I must inform you of something that occurred on Friday night, which I found out about yesterday. Romeo was drinking the same night as I was apparently, only a lot more vigorously. They took him to the hospital. They had to do some sort of extraction of the alcohol in his body through a pump system. I’m not really sure what happened.
Friends, I want so much not to care anymore. I want so much to toss him aside as callously as he did me. I read over your comments on my last post, which just confirms to me all the things I should be feeling. I should hate him, and I do, but…when I heard this news from Margaret, I felt like vomiting and weeping. I was shaking and yet unable to move from sheer fear. I felt like the darkness of the world had descended upon me. And, my loyal friends, I feel ashamed to admit that part of me just wanted to rush to the hospital and feel him in my arms once again.
But, reality is unkind, and I know that I could never go to Romeo and ask for his love. Even now, I don’t think that I would want it. But this has made me realize that perhaps letting go of him will be harder than I originally thought.
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My dear readers…I’m afraid that my ability for eloquence has been stolen from me through the sheer force of heartbreak. I suppose I can only blame myself, though the pain of losing him alone is too much to bear.
When I spoke to Romeo, he admitted to me his transgressions. Hearing the words from his lips was almost too much to bear. I had noticed a change in him, how suddenly I became bothersome to him rather than the object of his affections, but never thought…I suppose I had been rather foolish, looking back on it.
I got no apology from Romeo, and he confessed his love for another. Then, he rejected me. It pains me to write it…he said he chooses her.
O, cruel fates! How you mock me so callously, tempting me with the promise of love, only to snatch it from my fingers!
Dejected, I returned to the sorority house only to find that a gathering would be going on that night. I told them what had transpired between myself and Romeo, and they cursed his name, telling me to attend the party that night and try to “have a good time.”
So, I went. And, my dear readers, I’m not proud of what happened next. I went to the party and discovered the large reservoir of alcohol that was provided, and resolved to get very drunk to forget all that happened that day. I drank one glass of beer, and my resolve vanished. My emotions unleashed themselves, and my tears fell rapidly and loudly. Margaret and Rachel took me back to my room and comforted me.
O, readers, of one thing I am sure. The passion of my love for Romeo has descended into hatred. And while I may wish that he would love me again, his deception has hurt me so that all I can do now is curse his name, curse his new love, and pray for my return to Verona, where I can forget all about him.
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I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM! That lying, two-faced…ugh. Maybe I should start
at the beginning.
So, today, I was having issues with my computer. Apparently, these devices
respond poorly to water, because when I tried to wash it today it made a strange
buzzing sound and wouldn’t turn back on. Luckily, one of the sorority sisters, Rachel, offered her computer to me, and I was able to access my blog from there.
Anyway, some of your comments lately have seemed rather strange to me. Some of you were mentioning talking to Romeo, one of you thought that he blocked me, and people are mentioning someone named Vanessa? I was starting to become suspicious. So, I tried checking on Rachel’s computer, just to see…
AND THAT MILK-LIVERED CODPIECE BLOCKED ME.
Not only that but…well, I don’t even think I can talk about what his post said. I
need advice, and I’m afraid you all are the only ones I can turn to—the sorority
sisters all despise him, so they’re biased. Should I confront him? What should I do? In other words: HELP!!
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I’ve been away from this blog for just a day, but already I have so much to say. Where to begin…? Well, Romeo asked me out to dinner this morning. I was absolutely ecstatic to see that he was finally starting to really get serious about returning home, and of course, the idea of dinner with my loved one was exciting! In Verona, there was never much opportunity for us to spend time together in the normal stages of courtship–everything had to be so quiet and secretive. So, how relieved was I to have Romeo ask for my company tonight! Especially since you all have been telling me that I needed to talk to him, it was absolutely perfect.
When we got to dinner tonight, it started off very well. It had been quite some time since we had the opportunity to speak to each other, since it’s now a rarity for me to see Romeo daily. I decided to take your advice and confront him about his constant shirking of our responsibility to return home. I approached it in a gentle manner, and asked him honestly if he still wished to return to Verona.
And instead of answering my question, he accused me of nagging him. I couldn’t believe it! Nagging him? I must admit that I do not have the best control over my temper, but even now the implication boils my blood! What could possibly be more important right now than returning home? What could possibly be occupying his mind right now that is more important than getting us back to where we belong, where we can finally be together and wed?
I wound up leaving the dinner before our entrees even arrived. When I returned to the sorority, some of the sisters comforted me and we watched a very sad movie together, called The Notebook. It made me feel even worse.
I’ve been reading some of the comments on here lately, and I must say, I am very confused about what to think. All I will say right now is that, regardless of how he behaved today, I am, of course, still deeply in love with Romeo. After all, without Romeo, what am I even doing here? All of my efforts would just be a waste of time. I just want us to return, away from all of these distractions, so we can be together as we once were.
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Something very strange is happening. For some reason, I’m unable to view Romeo’s blog page anymore. Perhaps he’s deleted his account? I daresay that would make me quite happy—maybe he’s finally ready to, as they say here, “buckle down” and really concentrate on getting us home. He did promise, after all, and Romeo is a man of his word. Or at least I think he is…
It’s been awhile since I’ve actually seen Romeo, and when I do, he’s been acting very strange. He’s started wearing a pair of sunglasses at all times, and has changed his wardrobe so that he is constantly wearing pastel plaid shorts. He’s not acting like the Romeo I know.
I will confide in you, my dear readers. I’m not sure that Romeo cares about me as much as he did when we first came here. Perhaps he’s overwhelmed with the newness of this place, but it seems like he is completely disinterested in the once passionate love we shared.
I know I keep iterating this, but I really want to return home. I suppose I haven’t given my real reason, though. It’s not just that this world makes me uncomfortable—I fear that I may be losing Romeo to this world. In Verona, we face the pressures of our families, but at least our love was unwavering. I would rather face the disapproval of my parents than lose the love of my life.
Many of you have been suggesting that I speak with him, and perhaps you’re right. I fear I can’t go on like this for much longer.
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First, I must thank all of my readers for their kind comments and words! How surprised was I, upon returning to this website to post this new entry, to find that so many kind people have taken an interest in both myself and Romeo!
I fear that, like Romeo, my speech is deteriorating into a more modern
manner. I can’t help it—I’ve attended so many different classes the past few days
that I feel as though my entire way of thinking has been altered.
I’ve actually been spending most of my time in the Art building, where many
students spend all day dedicated to perfecting the visual arts. I’ve always had
an affinity for painting, and the professor of the painting class I attended earlier
today said that I’ve shown promise and talent! It’s the first time I’ve had someone
truly appreciate my art, rather than encourage it solely as a hobby. Should I
pursue this passion, or might it interfere with my focus on returning home?
However hard I’ve tried to keep my distance from it, I keep feeling inexplicably
drawn to the department of History. I find the classes fascinating, albeit mildly
disturbing. Today I attended a lecture on a Civil War in a country I’ve never heard
of—the united something of something else. I find the lectures enthralling, but I
can’t help but feel strange about the whole thing.
Romeo has been around less and less. Our interaction today was limited to a
nod from him as we passed each other on the large patch of grass in front of the
Art building. He’s even been sending e-mails less and less often. Perhaps he fits
in better to this strange new place? He is closer in age to the people here. I just
pray he’s not lost focus.
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I’ve yet to see Romeo today, nor did we meet yesterday, and I am beginning
to wonder if perhaps his interests are elsewhere. I continue to receive e-mails
from him, but now they are no longer the heartfelt messages from before, but
simply forwards of, and I quote, “funny shit I found on Reddit.”
Romeo, if you are reading this, please know that my concern for you grows with
each passing day! Even your manner of speech is now strange and foreign to
me, and I fear that you have lost focus on our task to return home.
Yet, when we do return (as I have faith we will), I will surely miss the
companionship of the sisters here. They have all been so kind to me—in fact,
they extended me an honorary membership to the sorority! They said that I will
still have to attend formal recruitment in the fall, although hopefully by then I will
be back at home, married to Romeo!
Still, the sisters have been so kind to me. Today was Margaret’s birthday, and
we celebrated with cake and a very strange kind of wine. She’s twenty-one years
old—over half a decade my senior! Hopefully, they won’t realize, though I must
be certain to hide my ignorance of modernity when speaking with them, lest they
discover. I can only hope that Romeo is exercising the same caution.
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Days pass by, but still my love for Romeo grows! This marks the beginning
of my second entry on this strange device. One of the sisters here, Margaret,
attempted to explain to me how interaction with others is possible on such a
device as this, but still I find myself unable to make sense of this strange, new
technology. In fact, I’ve found it perturbing, to say the least.
Margaret appeared truly shocked when I revealed that I had very little
understanding of the functions of this device, and even more shocked when she
realized that I did not have an “e-mail address”—a way to send post through
the “internet.” Please forgive me if my terminology is lacking, but I am still so
confused by this new time and place.
As soon as Margaret added me to the register of internet postal service, I
immediately found myself practically swimming in messages from my beloved,
Romeo! It warmed my heart, of course, but also filled me with a great deal of
confusion, since we are, in fact, in the same location. I suppose that this is how
people communicate in this place, though, through the screens of these strange
devices, as I communicate to you right now.
But, as I discovered that there are others aside from Romeo who read these
posts, I will not bore you with the details of such petty things! Earlier today, I
accompanied Rachel, another sister in the sorority that is hosting me, to one of
her daily meetings—which she refers to as “class” (though, I must admit, many
of the individuals attending these meetings lack any sort of class at all!). Today’s
topic was one of history, which intrigued me instantly. However, this history was
strange—we did not speak of the great Roman empire, Agincourt, or any of the
other topics of which I am accustomed to speaking. Instead, we spoke of a great
war, referred to as “World War II.”
At first I thought that, surely, I must be in a different world entirely, not just farther
along in time. But, now I am less sure. I worry that my presence here may affect
the natural course of history. I just want to return home, to Verona, back to where
everything makes sense.
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O, Romeo, that we do find ourselves in this strange new land has
safeguarded thee in my heart! My countenance is bright, that you do
proclaim your love so steadfastly! Aye, ‘tis true that we find ourselves weary
travelers of some land wrought with witchery, but I do trust that you will lead us
back where we belong.
My love, while fear treads close to me always in this place, your near presence
calms the uneasy spirits deep within me. Perhaps this is, indeed, truly a
blessing—for here, our names are but clothing we can cast aside and our
families are distant memories, far out of reach.
Yet, that we have found shelter in this temple of education shows that fate is on
our side. I have even been graceful adopted by a group of young women called
a “sorority”—I’m not sure quite what it is, but I assume it is a modern convent.
They have all welcomed me openly, not realizing that my age lags behind theirs,
perhaps due to my beauty and maturity. These sisters attend meetings which
occur thrice per week, all on the subject of literature, mathematics, philosophy,
or what you will. I admit, I allowed my curiosity to take hold of me, and I followed
one sister to one of these meetings: my love, how glorious it was!
I must leave now and retire to bed. Until we speak once more!
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